Sunday, March 16, 2008

What do I LeaveBehind?

Packing for a trip is a judgment call. A climate of 50 degrees one moment, followed by a sweeping blizzard which soon vanishes without a trace, had me puzzled. How do I pack well for a week’s worth of such weather? The shoe dilemma alone had me going. How to choose? Well, starting from my son’s directions to include a bathing suit and hiking boots, I indulged my imagination and then shut the bag. Case closed. (ouch)

The truth about me in Santa Fe encompassed a layering of moments, a circle of emotion, new visions, beauty, conversations, and realizations. It offered the opportunity to both look back and be present. I existed in the place of open vistas, cylindrical mesas, cloud-kissed mountains, and the Rio Grande…stunning in and of themselves, and metaphorically symbolizing the vastness of life’s possibilities.

Just as I could not anticipate the weather, so I flew to New Mexico with no expectations. Any activity, from sightseeing, to observing Ben’s choreography at National Dance Institute would be welcome. In fact, even a moment of hurt and humiliation – no, not with my family - provided awareness about self-care and self-expression. Under these open skies, I felt inspired to release some of the excess baggage I’d unconsciously packed alongside my 2 extra pair of jeans.

In Coaching, the concept of stepping back from the action is an invaluable tool. In life, disengaging, consciously taking the time to breathe, may allow us to notice that there is choice as concerns the next step. The thing that often trips us up is the “need” to be right. Of course we know this won’t resolve anything, but change takes time and small steps. To truly have a chance to arrive at this new place also requires our permission to make mistakes in the process.

So in this visit, I could revisit situations involving my son, knowing I’d made my share of poor choices. At times, I doubt I had the awareness that alternative behaviors were available. And yet, there stood Ben, a young adult making a huge contribution to the children in this and surrounding towns. From co-workers to parents, I was blessed to hear the strength of character they found in him, how the children adored him.

I'd traveled a distance to spend time with my son. And in so doing, I discovered for sure, that the love I'd offered my young children had indeed, been good enough.


Nic Hohn said...

Oh Vicki, I've got goosebumps! How heart warming..